Thursday, 28 January 2016

5 Things That Go Through Your Mind When You're Lactose Intolerant.

What many of you may not know is that I'm lactose intolerant - despite my bio stating my adoration of Brie. I'm not happy about being lactose intolerant. In fact it sucks. It's expensive, annoying and quite frankly an all round inconvenience. After a particularly traumatic event on Monday (I made the fatal mistake of drinking a shop brought frappucino that had milk in it. Stupidly thinking that "Oh I doubt it will effect me much" I was wrong. So very wrong.) I thought I would shed a little light on what it's like to be Lactose Intolerant... and also to write a comical post - you know how much I've been enjoying these of late. 

1. I really hope this doesn't make me 'farty' - Kick starting it with the toilet humour. I'm not even sorry. This is a thought that has ran through my mind every time I eat cheese and know I have to go out or see people afterwards. It's a risk I have to take but it's all in the name of Brie. 
2. This only has a small amount of milk so it will be okay right? - No. No is always the answer. Unless its gone through processes like certain cheeses (some I'm better with than others, cheddar is a no go though.) then it is never okay. Don't risk it. Don't be like me. 
3. No Starbucks Barista, I don't want cream on my coconut milk latte. - Why ask. It's so frustrating as if I've not gone through enough having to pay 40p extra for the convenience of wanting a coffee that doesn't taste grim (soy milk is a no) - it's like showing candy to a baby and ripping it away before they can get to it. I know you do delicious creams to go on top of coffee and hot chocolate but it's not worth the 2 and a half hours I'm going to be attached to my toilet later. 
4. What's with the lack of fun Dairy-free Ice-cream? - Like seriously. Sort it out world. Lactose Intolerance is pretty damn common you would have thought more people would be shoving some of that delicious coconut milk into an ice cream and going all Ben & Jerry's on that shiz by now. Although I will note that The Coconut Collaborative Ice Cream (linky) is amazing and really tasty. Only downside is it's not very easy to get hold of here in good ole Canterbury. 
5. Why do all the good things have milk in?! - This is the most frustrating part for me. Ice cream is a complete no for me; Some cheeses render me incapacitated or just very unpleasant to be around, only dark chocolate doesn't make me feel like I want to vom and Milk will guarantee I spend the next 8 hours glued to the toilet or curled up in bed patiently waiting for the sweet release of death. 

So there we have it. Yeah. I feel like I've over-shared. But if I can't talk about my dodgy digestive system on my blog, then really where can I talk about it? 

Hope you enjoyed and if you are also lactose intolerant then I'm sorry.


  1. I never realized how many (DELICIOUS) things have lactose in them until I got a friend who has it - It's so easy to forget, when it's not something you're used to thinking about :)
    - Anne | annesmiles

    1. Definitely! Literally everything that is amazing food wise has dairy in and it is such a bummer! Luckily there are some great dairy-free alternatives around!! :) xx


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